The Cool Mom’s Guide: SWOT your child to success

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SWOT

Mothers are often stereotyped as tiger moms, helicopter or even worrier moms. But you can be a cool mom and learn how to SWOT Analyse your child to success. Cool mom, Ritu Garg, tells us how.

What is the Mater?

SWOT

No mother is perfect. She constantly learns, unlearns and relearns to ensure her child is well taken care of. Mothering is an eternal   dance which  a mother performs joyfully and in which every  movement  requires a new balance to stay upright and not fall. It is thus the Mater (mother) who knows the SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity and Threats) of her child.

I loved the 2010 movie, The Karate Kid. It is an amazing story of  the determination of a teacher (Jackie Chan) and his relationship with his 12-year-old  student (Jaden Smith ) who gets bullied by his peers when he shifts from his home town Detroit to Beijing on account of his mother’s job transfer.

Though the movie got attention for the evolving relationship between a Kung Fu trainer and his student, being a mother I could not help but notice the young character’s mother’s journey in the movie and these are the insights I gleaned from it:

It is not pushing, it is perseverance.

It is not aggression, it is aspiration.

She is not tiger for her ferocity but for her tenacity.

To teach to work hard is Hard work.

If there are prizes, then why pursuing  them is pressure? If there are ranks, why working towards them is rot? If there are medals, why wanting them is considered mania?

I often hear phrases (and have had my lavish share of these brandings) like: Helicopter mom. Hypermom. Tiger mom. Cool mom. Super mom. Competitive mom. Carefree mom. Careless mom. Worrier mom.Warrior mom and so on.

I wonder how a selfless institution like motherhood can be subjected to such oversimplified stereotypes with the rhetorical finality of a verdict.  It takes not more than a span of two seconds of perfunctory observation to judge a mother. And tone is either of ridicule or reprimand.

Each child is born with a set of attributes that could be genetic or driven by familial and familiar environment. The world offers him a share of opportunities and threats. It is the mother who facilitates the child to deal with these on the basis of his strengths and weaknesses.

SWOT Analysing your child

SWOT


MATCHING STRENGTHS WITH OPPORTUNITIES

A mother knows how to synergise strengths of her child  with opportunities

She knows how to synergise strengths of her child  with opportunities.  As a child, Vishwanathan Anand learnt chess from his mother. And when she saw the potential, she did everything possible to make him a world renowned chess player. She harnessed the familiar and genetic potential to give the world the finest and  most astute chess player.

 WEAKNESS SHOULD NOT BECOME A THREAT

Weaknesses of a child can become threats to his personality if not attended in a positive manner. I had a friend whose child was not fond of reading. My friend did not sulk over it. Rather, she started focusing on her child’s observational and listening skills. She taught her to learn from every situation as if it was a scene from a story. It added another aspect to her child’s perspective. The child ended up becoming a short story writer.

USING STRENGTHS TO COMBAT WEAKNESSES

In Spanish, a metaphysical term, querencia, describes a place where one feels safe, a place from where one’s strength of character is drawn or a place where one feels at home.

Humans have a querencia too. A situation which puts them at ease, strengthens them, empowers them, with which they identify themselves, is their querencia. A mother knows her child’s querencia.

In the case of my son, a good discussion on any issue equips him to carry on with the next day’s challenges. Even when he was a child, whenever he would feel a need to refresh, we would enter together the world of words, phrases and proverbs. And he would come out primed, refreshed and empowered.

Have you SWOT analysed your child yet?

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